I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
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