Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
