im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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