I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
