You're so nebulous sometimes
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
