My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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