God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Oh god it's open bar.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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