This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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