The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
