I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
