What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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