Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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