Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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