Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You may now shotgun with the bride
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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