I wish I could punch you in the face.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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