we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
