I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
