bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
