Your dad touched me again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
