is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
