Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
