so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
