It's Friday. Sex?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
