Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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