And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize