Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
