I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
sarcasm needs its own font
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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