Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
