Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
