dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
