So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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