Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
