It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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