i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
operation harelip BJ is a go
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
