i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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