So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
