its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
