Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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