Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize