i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
FUCK WHALES
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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