Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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