i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
