people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
