"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
