so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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