just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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