so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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