The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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