that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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