i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
