she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
