you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Can I color on your dick again?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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