Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
wow bdsm is so cute
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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