Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We left an ass print on the piano.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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