I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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