Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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