Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
