so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
