I'm gonna have a badass scar
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Drunk is not a location!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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