Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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