Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
