let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
