we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
