He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
