If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just high enough for therapy.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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