If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she looked like the before picture.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
