Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize