I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
