just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
