Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
