I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
