apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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