worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
